Too Clever By Half

"'We lost Alcimus too, our cleverest planner of burglaries and raids, through another stroke of bad luck. He had broken into an old woman's cottage and got up to the attic bedroom where she was lying asleep; but instead of strangling her at once, as he ought to have done, for some reason or other he left here alone and began throwing her stuff down through the window for us to collect. He cleared the whole room in workmanlike fashion and then, thinking that we might as well have the old girl's bedding while we were about it, pushed her out of bed. He was about to throw down the coverlet after the other things when the wicked old creature clasped him by the knees and cried: "Stop, stop! What are you at, son? Why in the world are you throwing my sticks of furniture and my ragged old coverlet into my rich neighbour's back yard?" This fooled Alcimus. He thought he had mistaken the window and instead of throwing the things into the street was really throwing them into someone's back yard. So he went to the window, and not realizing that he was in any danger leant out for a good look around, with a particular eye for the rich neighbour's house, where he hoped to do business later on. Then the old bitch stole up behind him and gave him a sudden unexpected push--not a hard push, but he was off his balance at the time and down he went, head first."

Apuleius, The Golden Ass (2nd Century A.D.)

[translated by Robert Graves].